Sunday school sayings

STORY OF ELIJAH
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut a steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times
"Now, asked the teacher, "Can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"

LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted,
"My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"

GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.
Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied David. "How could he, with just two worms?"

HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, " We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"

MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
"The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

Church Smiles
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country..
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign ... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.
The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

Give me a sense of humor, Lord, The grace to see a joke, To get some humor out of life, And pass it on to other folk.

My hospital stay part B -- my first visitor

*I had voted for the very first time Tuesday, and now am so happy that the person I voted for had won! Yay, no more Bush!!*

Because I was so dehydrated and was really wanting something to drink, they had given Chuck some ice chips and sponges that I could suck on for water. I was doing just fine with this special diet, I wasn't getting sick or anything. A couple of hours later a male nurse came up to me and asked how I was doing. I told him how thirsty I was and that my lips were extremely dry! He disappeared for a few minutes and came back and put something in my IV. He then told me that he wasn't supposed to give me anything but he had some more ice chips to give me. He gave me one spoonful of ice and I threw it up. He took the ice away and had a bunch of different other nurses come in to help me clean up.

I was also having trouble with my heart/pulse rate beating too fast during this time (which was causing a lot of confusion because my blood pressure was extremely low and all of the medicine they could find me to lower my heart rate would also lower my blood pressure). They had found some medicine to lower my heart rate wich also causes nausea, but the nurse didn't put two and two together and instead took away the ice chips saying that is what made me throw up. So here I am thirsty as h*ll and I couldn't have any water. The one thing I really didn't understand was that for the past several hours Chuck had been giving me ice and I hadn't gotten sick! A couple of hours later a female nurse came in and put some more medicine in my IV. A few minutes later I started having dry heaves, they finally looked into it and found out that it also causes nausea so they gave me some water and never gave me that medicine again.

While I was in the ER Chuck had called his family and mine to tell them what had happened and where I was. They then moved me to a room in the intensive care. The room was very familiar and I asked Chuck if this was the same room his mother was in after her suicide attempt. He had left to talk to the doctor and call his brother. The doctor didn't know for sure what was wrong they thought maybe I had had a stroke at first but I was moving around, so they just figure I had some sort of virus... I keep telling Chuck that I must have had West Nile! Chuck had come back and told me that his mom was on her way up. I was not really thrilled over this news, but hey what could I do? I do not know how she knew I was in the hospital, I think Ken had told his mawmaw (Sharon's mom) and she in turn called Sharon.

The visit went just fine. She had come with a friend of hers... I didn't know nor have I ever seen this woman before... but her friend spent most of the visit in her vehicle. She also thought the room was the same room that she was in. Chuck had told both of us that she was in the room next door, right across from the nurses station and my room was across from the door. Sharon left to go home after visiting for 30 minutes. I am so glad that she didn't say something stupid and start an argument.