Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

glitter-graphics.com

I Received my new computer a couple of weeks ago, and am still working on bookmarking all of my favorite websites. For a while there my Sims2 games wouldn't work right and so we had to switch the monitor over to analog but then everything on the screen was huge and the game didn't look right, I couldn't even see most of the decorations on the webpages such as my pretty layout on my space page! It was so frustrating that I was practically in tears every day while trying to figure it out. My husband then realized that he forgot to install the monitor driver so now it all works on the digital display just fine. Yay!

Last Friday we attended my husbands office Christmas party. It was a lot of fun! The office had gotten everybody that attended a room at the hotel, I guess it was because there was a lot of drinking and I am sure the office didn't want the responsibility of having one of their employees get a DUI! I found out that we were staying in a resort motel and as we approached the place I saw that it was humongous... you could not miss it for it stuck out like a sore thumb. Inside on the main floor was a "mini--mall" that had lots of clothing stores including a gift shop on one side and on the other was a big welcome area are with the check-in aisles (looked like the lobby in that movie Home Alone 2). It also had a big fountain/waterfall and a little bar where you could order drinks while you waited for your party to show up and they had a sports bar by the elevators. They also had another set of elevators that take you all the way to the top floor (which they called the Tower) and the elevators were one of those you could watch and see through (a big window), we went up it after the dinner was some of the other office people . My husband doesn't really like heights but I do not mind them so as we were going up I was standing as close as I could to the window and Chuck was over by the elevator doors, but since it was dark (like around eight o'clock at night) I couldn't see much besides my own reflection... and I do not like my reflection at all! But I do know that we were not as far up as we were at the Sears Tower. Upstairs was another bar, since I do not drink I thought it would be boring but it was a lot of fun being able to laugh at the drunk people!

I finally finished up my Christmas shopping Sunday. I do need to go back tomorrow and pick up a birthday bag for my nieces gift. Chuck hasn't done his Christmas shopping yet (well for me, I am the one that takes care of the shopping for everyone else) so I am hoping that he doesn't take advantage of Saturday and have me pick out something I want for Christmas. I hate it when he does that because I like to be surprised for Christmas and besides he has known me for 10+ years so he should know me by now. We do not have our Christmas tree up yet and we probably won't have one at all this year. My husband is such a Scrooge and it gets worse every year specially for me because I like Christmas and I am so far away from my family... it's so depressing when he acts so uninterested. My nephew came over Monday night and he said he would put up our tree, Chuck went downstairs to get our tree and he couldn't find the decorations that go on the tree like the lights, the tinsel, and the bulbs. I kept asking him to at least put it up last weekend especially since he told Maggie and his dad that he would put it up that weekend but he wouldn't do it. It isn't a major deal that we are missing everything that goes on the tree, but some of those hanging decorations are nonreplaceable and have a sentimental value!

How was everyone's Thanksgiving? Mine was alright. We went up north to Chuck's aunt and uncles home for the __ family Thanksgiving dinner... they have two of them every year between the three kids, one at Thanksgiving and the other at Christmas. The Thanksgiving one is where everyone draws names and gives them a gift at the Christmas one, this year I drew my sister-in-law, Kelly's, name so I think that will be fun shopping for her because I know what she likes. The meal it self was good but since I was in my manual wheelchair and couldn't roll myself, Chuck was helping with the Turkey so he would leave me in the middle of the conversation. People have a tendency to walk as they talk (I have observed this for many years now) and they would end up talking behind me and since I couldn't turn myself around I could just sit there... very boring! We left early (Chuck started to get bored too) mainly because we had to leave Gracie shut up in the bathroom while we were gone and we were afraid that she would get in to the cupboards and tear everything apart. She did really well though, she only peed once... don't worry guys, it was on the linoleum and not on the carpet!

Most everybody seemed to have forgotten that yesterday was our 10th anniversary. I have actually survived Chuck for 10 long years! We didn't do much except to go out to eat. He was going to rent a room but I told him no lets wait and do something when we can afford it. So yesterday afternoon, Chuck and I looked at the Dell website and for my anniversary gift Chuck got me a new computer! I am so excited to get it, it has a bigger 19 inch flat screen monitor and we even got a new printer too and we even chose to have the best video card so it can play my Sims 2 games without any problems! Now the big thing that is going to suck is that now (well once I get the new computer) I will have to delete all of my saved games and start all over again! I am not looking forward to that :(

To all...

glitter-graphics.com

Here are the two pictures that we have of Gracie in her new hoodie:

I will share a cute story about how much she likes her hoodie. Monday night she took off her hoodie in our bed and Tuesday morning we forgot to put it back on her... you know "out of sight out of mind". So all day Tuesday she ended up going without it. She must have gotten cold because that Wednesday morning she searched our bed until she found her hoodie, drug it from the bedroom in to the living room and laid it at her dad's feet and sat down looking up at him with those big puppy dog eyes!

You are all probably wondering what has been going on with my adoption. Well, here is the update...At the end of the second meeting, we had received the paperwork for the doctor's approval (and physical) to move on to step two. Then that following Monday Chuck got a call from the adoption agency saying we shouldn't waste our time or money and proceed with the adoption. Chances are we will either be turned down because of my condition, or we will be put on a waiting list for several years. These kids are from pretty tough backgrounds and I may not be able to control them. I still wanted to try because I have always wanted to be a mother, but Chuck just gives up and doesn't want to bother with it anymore. It has been several months now and I still haven't been able to convince him to keep trying, so I have now just given up also. I guess I will never be a mother!

*Just a Note*
After receiving my friends comment and question made me re read my post and realized I forgot something... I meant to answer the question beforehand, but for some reason I didn't. The agency told us that they wouldn't be the ones that would turn me down, it would either be the child's lawyer that is actually the one that places the child with a certain person or the person that does the home study. The agency was really impressed by me and the fact that I have degrees in Child Development helped a lot. So as you see it would not matter what agency I went through, all children that are adopted have a lawyer from the time that they leave the home until they are adopted and it is them that will discriminate and give us trouble.

The continuation...

I finally got Gracie potty trained! Well actually, I shouldn't take all the credit because I know God helped me with it. She still has accidents every now and then but nothing major and nothing on the carpet. But what can you expect? She is only four months old and it is getting really cold outside! It would make me so mad whenever Chuck would tell me that I could not do it, whenever she would pee on the carpet or somewhere in the house he would pitch a fit and say we are always going to live like this! But now I love to tease him and say "and you told me I couldn't do it!"

Speaking of getting colder, I have been waking up to snow on the
ground for a couple days now. It doesn't stick or anything... usually it has been gone by the afternoon, but I still do not like the snow it makes it harder for me to get outside and get around. I did order Gracie a hoodie to help me get her to go outside during the day. It is purple -- well actually violate -- in color with pink rolls on the bottom and the arms and the hood is purple and white striped. She loves it! It looks so adorable on her, I took some pictures but I need Chuck to put the memory card in my computer and then I will post them.

I forgot to tell you all about what was going on with my brother-in-law during this time. He started dating someone at this time, I hadn't met her yet but the kids seemed to like her. I learned the weird story about what was going on from Chuck, Ken's ex-wife was dating a guy whom was divorced also (I think they started seeing each other before he was divorced, but I am not sure). Those two met while dropping off both of their kids (she also has 2). Then that Thanksgiving, a couple of weeks after Sharon's suicidal attempt, my father-in-law and his girlfriend were having Thanksgiving dinner at their house so we all went over there. Ken and his girlfriend were going to be there and she had an engagement ring on that was given to her by Ken a few days earlier. They were getting married in about a week. I really liked her, she seemed really nice but was way too quiet! During the next week before they got married they went over and met Sharon at the house. After their meeting Sharon came over to talk to me. Boy, Sharon did not have one good thing to say about Kelly! I think it was due to her not having been the one to pick out Ken's new girlfriend because she was always trying to set Ken up soon after his divorce. What she kept pointing out was that Kelly would not shut up, she kept talking and asking personal questions and wondering about the cost of things. Things that were really none of her business. I asked "Are we talking about the same Kelly?"

What really surprised me was the fact that Kelly is such a divine Christian woman and has set and lives by high morals. Well so is Sharon... well so everybody thought. Sharon, herself, was always reading the Bible and listening to Christian music and watching the Christian channel on TV. She also set pretty high morals, but I do not think she lived by them. For instance she had taught both boys not to have sex before marriage but I do know that she was pregnant when she was only 16 and lost it a couple of months later and married the guy several years later!

Then in December they got married and moved in to Ken's house, so it became the six of them instead of the three. Chuck refers to them as the Brady Bunch! I enjoy having her around, she is much more accepting of me in my situation than any of the other females in this family (Ken's ex-wife and my mother-in-law). Ken seems happier and the kids seem to really love having her there also. Sometime earlier this year she and Ken started bringing me to church with them since my husband will not go. I am so grateful for that, since I am in a wheelchair and do not drive I do not get out of the house much so I do not know anybody in this town... except for those I have been introduced to by my husband or my mother-in-law/father-in-law. I love being able to get out of the house to be with other Christian's every week.

A big disappointment...

Wow, I have not been on here in a while. I think it's time I wrote something!

You know, Halloween has turned into a big disappointment. This is our third Halloween in this house and we do not get any trick-or-treaters, not even my nieces and nephews! Our first Halloween we decorated and made sure to turn on the outside lights and even bought a bunch of candy. We didn't get any visitors that first year, which surprised us because our niece and nephew who are of age did not come. Chuck mentioned something about it to his brother the next day and his brother said he forgot and well remember the next year. All of the candy that we had became mine, so I didn't need to buy myself any sweets for a while (it would have been longer but my mother-in-law kept eating it too). The next year we didn't decorate but we still had lots of candy, and still no one showed up. By that Halloween my brother in law had remarried and had 2 step kids plus the two of his own that were all of age and still no one came! This year we didn't do much at all, got some candy but not a whole lot... I told Chuck it is better to be safe than sorry. No surprise though, we didn't get anyone. When I was growing up, I remember how fun Halloween was. Dressing up in creative costumes hoping no one would recognize me, going around with my friends house to house trick-or-treating, getting boatloads of candy. When I was in high school and too old to go out trick-or-treating I took my brother out and we had fun! I remember going to a house and I did not know these people from Adam but my brother did and they saw me standing in the driveway and even gave me some candy. The next year, I was unable to take my brother out because I was then diabetic and all that candy was too tempting. But he came along and gave me some sugar free candy that was given to him by those people from the year before to give to me, I thought that was so nice of them! I remember being so jealous of my parents, I figured they had an awesome role answering the door to trick-or-treaters and I could not wait until I grew up and had a house of my own so I could play that role. Where did the trick-or-treaters go? What happened to this holiday? I have often wondered if it's because of the town I live in... most of all the state! Maybe it's just too cold up here or maybe the town is just too small and the people are known to be too untrustworthy. My parents don't get as many trick-or-treaters as they used to, but at least they get some. They now live in Colorado and it is cold there. Maybe the holiday is just plain better in Kansas. Halloween Sucks!!

Shall I be worried?

It has been a while since I have posted a blog. I finally have a break from that puppy! She is no longer the cute cuddly little newborn puppy, she is now the cute obnoxious active little pain in the butt. She has entered the "terrible twos" stage and keeps me on my toes throughout the day. She had a vet appointment this afternoon and my husband took her about 30 minutes ago... ah yes, a well deserved break!

Next Saturday is when my husband and I go to the first training session. We are excited to get this done and have a child. Yet, we are also very worried that the state will disapprove us for the adoption because we live in a fixer upper home that still is being worked on. But we do have enough room for another person so hopefully that is all they're interested in knowing. My father-in-law's new wife, Maggie, wanted the website for the adoption agency to give to her daughter. She was telling Chuck and I that in the state of Ohio (where her daughter lives) that the children available for adoption are only those that are mentally ill. That had us worried because I could not physically handle a child with limited mental capacities in certain situations. I again thoroughly searched the website for Michigan to see what kind of children were available to adopt. I did find a perfect child to adopt. She is named Jennifer, is 10 years old, loves animals and to be outside, but most importantly she prefers to be an only child! Hopefully she will still be available when we are approved... if we are approved.

Gracie pictures

Here are some pictures of my new puppy Gracie I told you I would put up. The pictures were taken on Friday, August 10 when we first brought Gracie home. She was 5 weeks and 5 days old in these pictures:

The weekend we got Gracie, we were also watching my father-in-law's dog, Mitzy. This is one of my favorite photos of them giving each other a kiss hello:

, adopting, a new dog, and my mother-in-law

Wow, I haven't written on the troubles that I had with my mother in law and a couple of weeks. As you know, my husband and I have started the adoption process and we are required to attend a training seminar next month. There are two of them that we need to go to, one is on the 15th and the other is on the 20th. We are both really excited about being parents, but the longer this drags on the more worried we get that we will be turned down. We are not rich and I have a lot of physical ailments that may give them a reason to turn us down.
This coming Friday, the 10th, we will be getting a new puppy. I know I told everybody that we were going to wait a while before getting another dog, but these two months without a dog have seemed so lonely and long! So my brother-in-law's neighbors have some newborn puppies that they are giving away. I met the dog that we are getting Sunday. She is so cute and tiny! She is a mixture breed a Chihuahua/Miniature Pincher/Jack Russell, I will have to post a picture when I am able to. She will be six weeks old on Friday and I chose the name Gracie.

Several weeks had passed and Sharon was losing interest in the shop. She had decided to sell everything and close up shop. We had a big sale (which played a big part in my re building the relationship between Candy and I) at the shop and another one in the Days Inn conference room. The rest of the stuff that was left I said I would sell on eBay for her.
Then on December 31, 2006 is when something that I had dreaded happened. I received a phone call from her asking me if she could move in. My husband said yes, being his mother I understood why. Her reason for wanting to move in was because she was lonely....

8 Random Things Meme

The rules:1. Let others know who tagged you.

2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.

3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.

4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

tagged by:Dawn

8 random facts:

1. My mother has been trying for years now to convince me to write a story based on my life (an autobiography if you will). I started doing this earlier this year, but am now experiencing a writer's block and have not written on it in the last few months.

2. I was raised in Kansas, but born in Washington, DC, and now reside in Michigan. I do not remember much about Washington, DC... for we moved when I was six months old and my dad's enlistment for the Air Force was over... but I really miss Kansas and am not very fond of Michigan... I do not like the snow and cold weather!

3. I have been married for almost 10 years and we have started looking into adoption, even sent in an application last month. Now we are awaiting our next step, going to adoption parenting classes (I have no idea what this is, they probably explain how and what to expect when adopting).

4. I have been watching that show, Ice Road Truckers, on the History Channel every Sunday night and really enjoy it. It only has four more remaining episodes and will not be back on next summer which is kind of disappointing because I secretly have a "crush" on that rookie TJ.

5. Besides Ice Road Truckers, I absolutely love that show Eureka!

6. Even though I am diabetic, I have the biggest sweet tooth imaginable. You name it I probably have eaten it!

7. I read the book Harry Potter And the Chamber of Secrets a few years before the movies started coming out. I really enjoyed the book and I was about to start reading the one that comes after it, but then the movies started coming out. When I went to see The Chamber of Secrets, I knew what was going to happen and who the "bad guy" was. Kind of ruined the movie for me. So that is why I have not read any of the others yet... I want to wait until after all of the movies have come out before I start reading the books again.

8. I went and saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Saturday, I liked it except that they threw in several new characters without much explanation of who they were. They were just there and were accepted by and friends with the others. I had to look it up on the Internet and there I found out who they are, I take it that the book explained things a lot better.

The 8 friends I tag:

1. Amber
2. Nathan
3. Sheila
4. Stacie
5. Kristi
6. Suz
7. Brianne
8. Gina

The week after

Once she got to the hospital, they pumped her stomach and kept her in ICU for a few days. Sharon was found to have overdosed on her antidepressants and aspirin so they had to keep a close eye on her. When Chuck went to her house to gather some clothes for his mom while she was gone he noticed all of her drawers were like almost empty! She had no clothes but the ones on her back and a little bit in the hamper. Nor did she have any books or a TV, it's no wonder she tried suicide she probably drove herself crazy by only being able to keep herself occupied by thinking and reflecting on the past.
I went to visit her, and the very first thing she asked about was how Bebe was doing I told her fine (she was too, was keeping my big dog company). Joanne was there too and Bill and Chuck (and Ken was even there) were busy talking to the doctor. Sharon was telling JoAnne and I how upset she was at Chuck because he never showed any signs that he cared for her before, so why did he choose to show up then? He should have just left her alone! I told her that it wasn't just Chuck that cared what happened to her, I was the one that asked Chuck to go check up on her because I was worried too. Plus too, I told her, even Ken is worried for her because he came here and is outside the room.
When Sharon was able to go home, we were all worried about her and her safety. So Bill took time off so he could stay with her and she told me to keep an eye on Bebe for her. That was a long week for Bill and for everybody else. Chuck bought food and supplies with Bill and Chuck's manaw would call every other day to ask our opinion about how she was doing. They also transferred some money to us so Chuck could go and buy her a cash register or something she really needed. Chuck and Bill used the money to get Sharon some different items, they looked into a register but they cost way more than what they had. The leftover money Chucks mammaw told Chuck to go ahead and keep it. But of course, Sharon would remind Chuck just how greedy and uncaring he was.
Bill had left after a week to go home (he was starting to get really stressed out from watching Sharon go through her temper tantrums and suicidal actions) and Sharon was going to a counseling session with the hospital at the time and she reassured everyone that she would be fine, so she stayed behind. But I found out that while she was in the hospital she had sold her business to Bill and JoAnne for $1, I was a little upset over this... she kept telling me that she was leaving the business to me! But Sharon still had the run of the business and she still needed my help with counting money for change and such.

The suicide attempt

So, after Carol left I was in charge of a lot more. Sharon is unable to count out the money, actually now that I think about it the only thing she was really good at was the decorating (after being told what to decorate and how to decorate it) and some of the organization. She had started talking to her brother again and they decided to get involved with the business. So they would show up every now and then... well it was mainly her sister in law, her brother was working... and I would feel I was in the way, so I would go home. Her sister in law, JoAnn, is one of those goody-goody types, she likes to take charge and allows you to feel like such an idiot when you do not do it her way.
I had been making plans with Sharon to come in on a Saturday to help with the shop because JoAnn had to work and wouldn't be there. She even kept asking me the day before if I was still going to be there and I hadn't changed my mind, and I would reassure her that I would be there at 10 o'clock in the morning. Then at nine that morning she had called to ask me if I is still wanted to come in since the shop was so cold, I told her I would be fine as long as I had my electric heater and I would see her later. She sounded really tired and drained on the phone and I was thinking she had just woken up so that is probably why. Then at 945 she had called back and told me not to come in. She still sounded really tired and I asked her if she was okay she said she was good, and I asked her why she did not want me to come in and she told me she just didn't feel like opening. I had a really bad feeling in my stomach that something was wrong, so I kept calling her back to see if she was sure she didn't want to open but no one answered the phone. I even called her cell phone and still no answer. The feeling in my stomach was getting worse, so I had Chuck go check on the mother. He called me on his cell phone and told me the doors were locked and he couldn't get in, he wondered if I was talking to her because she wasn't coming to the door. I told him no and she wasn't answering her phone. He then called his aunt and uncle to see if they were talking to her. They weren't, but JoAnn had talked to Sharon earlier and had noticed also that she sounded really depressed and tired. Then Chuck called his mamaw and she wasn't talking to Sharon either. So Chuck ended up having to call the police station. After a couple hours Chuck called me and told me that the ambulance had found his mother on the floor of the bathroom and Bebe was pitching a fit. Chuck found a "suicidal note" that said tell Rassel it wasn't his fault and a bag full of pills that she must have taken.
I got online and told Rassel what was happening, because I believe that once you are married you are not supposed to keep secrets from one another. Then Chuck showed up at the door with Bebe in his arms. He set Bebe down and told me he had to run to the hospital to be with his mom. Then Bill and JoAnn are coming up and staying the night with us. I was almost proud of myself for knowing that something was wrong and trusting my woman's intuition and because of that she was still alive.

My weekend fun

We got the kids Sunday night, all three of them. Usually we just get Brenden and Carrie but this time their stepbrother, Zac, wanted to stay too. It was a lot of fun and it kept me busy watching them and helping them play my game, Sims 2. Sunday when Ken and Kelly came to pick me up for church, Carrie asked if she could stay. Then on our way to church Brenden asked if he and Zac could stay, I said okay.

After church Ken and Kelly dropped me off at my house so Chuck and I could change into shorts. Then we went over to his dad's for barbecue and birthday cake. Then everyone in Ken's family (Kelly plus four kids and their dog Peppy) came over to celebrate Ken's birthday which was on Saturday. It was a great meal and a really good visit. They all seemed really interested in our adoption process. Carrie and Zac wants us to adopt a nine-year-old because that is how old they are, Branden wants us to adopt a 10 or 11-year-old since he is 11, Jessica didn't really have a preference... or at least she didn't say one. Chuck and I have not sent in our application yet, they want to see your house so Chuck and I are cleaning our house and removing all the unnecessary items that we have piled up. I am excited that he is now starting to take having a family seriously. It is about time I wasn't the only one. After we ate and the talk had died down, we went home and Ken followed us and dropped off the three kids. That evening we all watched Bridge to Terabithia and then they took turns on the computer or on their PlayStation that Brenden brought. Then they watched Ice Road Truckers and went to bed.
Monday I had them all to myself. Since it was a rainy day they spent it inside and played on my computer or on the PlayStation. By noon we noticed that it started to get awful dark... it was so dark, I couldn't even see the hands of the clock that was located 3 feet in front of my face!... then it started raining really hard. Soon after that we heard the tornado sirens go off. Since I grew up in "Tornado Alley", I was not worried at all because I knew what signs to look for and besides I was watching the news and I knew it was nowhere near us. I did tell the kids that if we were in any danger, they would go down stairs under the stairs and block them in with big boxes because of the big sliding glass doors by the stairway and I would go into a closet. The storm didn't last long, about 15 minutes after it had passed my sister-in-law showed up to pick up the kids. She was in a hurry and got the kids and left. It kind of upset me that she didn't even call to tell me she was on her way. I wasn't expecting anyone until five o'clock, so I didn't have the kids ready to go yet. They were at least dressed and fed, but they hadn't a chance to pick up all the toys that they had gotten out. Once they left I went in to the computer room and had to weave back and forth to avoid running over the PlayStation. Next time I would appreciate a phone call to tell me which you would be there at least!

The second disownment

I almost forgot to mention that when Sharon was buying the house and even the rental home, she also put the houses in Chuck's name too. He had a job and income so he gave her permission to buy the properties but she would be responsible for the costs and any damages. She also let me know that she left both properties to both boys in her will (I found it great that she was thinking of Chuck and Ken and not just Rassel).

Whenever I would go visit her, I would actually get excited about the houses one day belonging to us. Then a few weeks later Chuck got into a big fight... a yelling match if you will. Sharon was already living in the brown house and they got into a disagreement about the way Sharon was acting in regards to Rassel. She always talked about him like he was the best man to ever walk on this earth. He was not used to having his mother talk about a guy like she did Rassel. After all, this was her third marriage. Not only that, but she was married to Chuck's dad for 30 some years and she wasn't one to refer to a guy in such a way that Chuck nor Ken could recall. She couldn't expect them to graciously accept this new guy, it would take while.

But Chuck did call Rassel a bad name, which he shouldn't have done since Rassel wasn't there to defend himself. That just made Sharon even angrier with Chuck, so she told him to leave and since I was with him that included me too. As he was helping me into the car, she came out and told Chuck to leave and never come back because he was not her son any more... at least she told him to his face this time.

I was angry with Chuck for saying what he did, so I would not talk to him until he at least apologized. He thought about it and he apologized the next day. She accepted his apology and she claimed him as a son again, but still didn't fully trust him again.

An edit

Here is an edit for a bad business venture

The opening for The Jeweled Peacock was in November not January! Sorry about that, don't know were my mind was when I wrote that!

Happy birthday America!

I know it isn't until tomorrow, but I want to wish you a good one anyway!

A bad business venture

So Sharon and Carol were setting up shop. And I was filling out her paperwork for the Visa. I would go visit her at the shop for a few hours once a week, and when I would go the inside decorating got uglier and uglier! It looked like a bunch of old people (a Ma and Pa store) started a secondhand dress shop. Nothing that attracted a young bride to buy from. They did a good job on the display window and the front of the shop looked good, but once you entered it took a downward spiral. At first they had it open as they were trying to move-in and organize their merchandise, nothing was out to sell but people could walk in at any time... they said this was so people would know that their shop was there. I kept trying to convince them to get a sign, it didn't necessarily have to be an expensive one just one to let people know going down the road that the shop is there. I do not know how many times my husband and I drove down the road and overlooked the house because for one, there was no sign and number two, the house is set so far back on the road that no one realizes it's there at first.

The shop was pretty small to begin with and in the main room where the cash register was supposed to be was a big long table with red crepe paper (reminded Chuck of the tables selling prom tickets/raffle tickets that you see), and across the way was a little round table with a matching wire chair with out the bottom and a wing chair that was found on the sides of the road and the arms were totally ripped up (like they were mauled by a cat) so they put on an ugly piece of fabric over the chair to hide the arms. They had some other stuff, like a sewing table (only without the sewing machine), and an armoire (full of cake top and other bridal accessories). The room was so small that with all the junk in there, no one could hardly move! One of the neatest decorations they had was a picture of a Peacock with shiny gems throughout the tail, it was made by Carol and since the store was named The Jeweled Peacock it fits.

I was asked to make some flyers for the shop so they could announce the grand opening. I was actually glad to be participating and not have Sharon be downing me by saying I was too lazy to help like she did my husband. They had their grand opening, but it wasn't so grand. No one came, but in a way I do not blame them. The basement (the shop) was not heated and it was in the middle of January and there was snow on the ground. A few days later, a pretentious bride bought a wedding dress from them. I wasn't there, so I can only go on what I was told, but I guess the dress was a halter top one and she had to try the dress on in the back room... the furnace room... in the cold. Sharon told me her arms were all full of goose bumps and were turning a light purple. I kept trying to explain that they need to invest in some sort of heater right away. But according to Sharon they did not have enough money right now, I told her well your ex-husband (the dad) has an old gas heater sitting in the garage which he is not using right now and I am sure he'd be more than willing to work out some sort of payment plan so you could have heat. She would just shake her head and claim he would be so mean and tell her no.

After they got their checks for the shop, Sharon would notice little odds and ends appearing around the shop. Carol would walk around with the checkbook on her just to make it look like she actually had money. Sharon did not know it she could trust her after she had put herself as president and Sharon as a manager without consulting Sharon about it. We found this out as I was filling out the last of the Visa papers and the I had to put a job description and such. So Sharon had asked me to keep an eye on the bank account (I basically turned into a bookkeeper for the business) and tell her how the money was doing. I said okay because I had already submitted the Visa papers.

I do not know the full reason why, but Carol got upset one morning and threw the checkbook at Sharon's feet and said she was done and stormed out. Sharon did not know the first thing about running a business and she was terrible with money, so was under a lot of stress and would cry whenever she talked to her mother (which was every day, several times) I was asked by her mother to help her out in the shop and I said okay (like I knew the first thing about running a business!).

My first job?

I made a slide show with music of Sharon's new house and e-mailed it to Rassel for her. He loved it and so did Sharon. I took the pictures of the dresses they had taken and even some pictures I had taken and put them in a slide show set to music. They both loved it and decided to play it for people in the shop that needed a broader view of the dress. Sharon then offered me a job of making slideshows of peoples weddings for the person, they would offer this option on the flyers and in this shop while people were trying on dresses. I thought this would be fun and I was so excited and couldn't wait to get started.

I was still not talking to candy at this time, and I found out that Sharon had asked if she would be willing to take pictures at the wedding and give the pictures to me. Once I found this out, I was no longer as excited as I was before. When Candy was hired to be my attendant, she basically used that excuse for free room and board. I used to watch Boston Public every Monday night at nine o'clock, I needed to take a shower so I had asked her to help me take one before my show started and she kept dragging her feet as nine o'clock approached. Finally she got me in there, but when I was finished and she came in to help me back to my wheelchair the phone started to ring. She quickly threw me on the shower chair... I was barely sitting on it and grabbed the bar, but since I was still damp I started slipping... to answer the phone. It was just my brother in law calling candy (his girlfriend) to chat. She decided she'd rather talk to Ken for the next 15 minutes then help me! I started screaming for her to help me as I was slipping, she finally came but I was mad and I kept telling her that she could at least told Ken to call her back in five minutes he would have called you back. She went and grabbed me really hard under the arms, banging my two front teeth on the bar as she sat me back on the chair. I was very angry and hurt at this time so I told her that now I have missed the beginning of my show thanks to you, it was only Ken and he could have called you back in five minutes! She got angry with me and started yelling at me that I was so selfish that I only care about what happened to me and I said if you want to see selfish take a look in the mirror sometime, and then she left me on the chair in the shower and walked out the door slamming it shut. Her four-year-old son heard the commotion and he opened the door and started yelling that I was so selfish. I studied child development so I pretty much knew that little children imitated the actions of their elders, but she could have at least told him no. I was on the shower chair for about 20 minutes and I thought it over and came to the conclusion that I would have to apologize or else I would be in the shower forever. I then apologized to her (even though I didn't mean it) and she got me out of the bathroom. After that ordeal I started looking in to a replacement. I found one and I asked her to leave.

Because of this Chuck had to take a dishonorable discharge so he could come home early. So no one found it necessary to talk with her anymore. I still liked her and thought of her quite often, but I was needing a little break from her. Everyone agreed with me, that's why it took me by surprise that Sharon (who told me I was in the right so she wouldn't talk to her either) was still talking with her.

Oh no, not another one!

Just thought I'd let you in on the happenings with the dog, Grover. Thursday afternoon he started to get sick, by throwing up and not keeping anything down. However he was drinking and that was good, until he started puking up the water. He would show signs that he was improving, so we didn't feel it necessary to take him to the vet. Friday he still would not eat but he would drink water. That evening, since we were still unable to figure out the type of food he ate, I gave him the last lick of my chicken pot pie on my finger. He ate that really good. I did not want to over do it, so I let him eat the last little bit of what was left (which was the gravy). He seemed to perk up and even played with Chuck. Saturday we went to Chuck's dad to introduce Mitzy and Grover (we are babysitting Mitzy this week) and Grover did just fine. That is until he threw up his soft canned food on their front lawn and he started moping around again. We brought him home and he wouldn't drink nor eat anything. Saturday night was horrible, he kept hacking and having dry heaves, then he started having diarrhea really bad and kept Chuck and I up most of the night. Sunday morning we talked it over and decided it would be better on me to give him to Kelly and have her nurse him back to health since I couldn't do it and even keep him afterwards. After church, she took him home with her and then came back and took me to a special evening session they were having and left the dog home alone... which in my opinion, was a bad choice. After the sermon and dropping me off Ken and Kelly found the dog had died. I am not as upset as I was when Bebe died. I liked that dog and everything but I just wouldn't allow myself to get attached because it was just too early yet. I am sad that he died, but I feel really bad for Kelly because she is probably blaming herself and she fell in love with him that day she picked him out.

Grover

Well I was right, my niece did take it pretty hard. She was depressed for a couple days and to pull her out of her grief, she decided to get us another dog. Chuck and I were not really interested in finding a dog right now. We were going to focus more of our attention on adopting a child and then we as a family would pick one out. However, I understood how she was feeling because I went through the same thing when my aunt's dog died while in my care. So if she wanted to get us another dog to help her I wasn't going to stop her. I didn't find this out until Wednesday afternoon when Chuck called me and told me she was looking for another dog and Ken kept asking him if this dog will work or that one. Chuck kept telling him no, but he should have explained the reason why.

Thursday morning I was at my computer when I heard a knock on the front door. I glanced to my right and looked out the big window and saw Ken and Kelly's white van in our driveway, to be honest my first thought was "oh no, they better not have come with a dog!" Before I had a chance to take off my headset Carrie came bounding in the room all excited. She said that she had a surprise for me outside. When we got to the door, Carrie opened it and in walked Kelly holding a dog on a leash. They had picked out a little orange Pomeranian from the pound. It had been there a while and was about to be put down. He already has been neutered and looks pretty healthy and I think he is already housebroken (but I still have to check on him every half hour because it is new surroundings and I am still not 100% sure that he is totally housebroken) except they are not certain about his age... we are guessing about 1. He also didn't have a name that they knew of so I told Carrie she could name him. She couldn't think of a name that he seemed to like, so I said the first name that came to mind... Grover. He seemed to like that name and so did everyone else, so that is the name we gave him.

When I first got him, he was active and perky and was running around playing with Brenden and Carrie and licking our fingers. Brenden and Carrie spent the afternoon with me to help me with Grover in case he wasn't potty trained yet. He was all happy to be playing when them, but a few hours later he started throwing everything up. He would go drink his water like there was no tomorrow then he would throw it up. He would not only throw up his water, but his food too. After that all he wanted to do was sleep. I do not know if it was his nerves from being in a new place making him sick or from the kids causing him to much excitement. But today all he does is lay around and he will not eat. Even my friend came over and knew right away that he was sick and told me try a little can dog food.

This evening when Chuck came home, he had bought some puppy food for him. We are unsure of his true age but everybody guesstimates about one and when I did research on the Internet for Pomeranian it would always say to give them dry dog food. He also got him to try a little Pepto-Bismol to see if that would help settle his stomach. Then we ate pot pie's and I decided to give him the last little bite by putting it on my finger for him to lick off. That seemed to help because once I did that he seemed to perk up and even played with Chuck a little bit. So now we know that we need to get to him soft can food. He's still not as active as he was yesterday, but at least he is showing signs of improvement!

A painful loss

My niece and nephew stayed over Sunday night. Monday morning I asked Carrie to fold up the couch bed so I could get around, she came over and folded it up and put it away. I had a candy bar in my hands that I was unwrapping, usually my dog hears the noise right a way and comes running up by me waiting for me to give her some. When she didn't come I figured Brenden had let her out. A couple minutes later Carrie asked me where Bebe was, she looked all around outside but couldn't find her then we looked all around the house and kept calling her name but she still didn't come. Then I looked at Carrie and said you didn't fold her in the couch did you? So she quickly took out the bed and started freaking out when she got to the last fold. Brenden ran out to help his sister fold out the rest of the couch and there was Bebe tangled in the blanket and in a pool of drool. She was breathing in and out really fast and her nose was dry. I called Chuck to take her to the vet, they were unable to slow her heart rate down so Chuck had her put to sleep.

I miss having Bebe around and Chuck is taking it hard himself, he wonders if maybe he made the wrong choice in having Bebe put down. He wonders if she would have made it through if we would have left her alone. Now what I am worried about is how my niece is handling the news. She is only a nine year old little girl and she was so fond of Bebe and now I am afraid she will start thinking that it was all her fault since she was the one who folded up the bed.

I realize that I have not yet gotten to the part where Sharon gave me Bebe. But she did and I think that was one of her best decisions she has ever made. Do not worry, I will be coming to that part soon!

Here is a picture of Bebe:

RIP my Bebe girl!

I am still here...

Oh my, the week is almost over and I have not written any posts yet. But I doubt anyone has missed me anyway. I have been reading a book I got over a week a go and I couldn't put it down! It was a real page turner, was a suspenseful mystery type book even with a bit of sex thrown in. I loved it! The only problem is now I have nothing to read when I go outside since I finished it last night so now I have to wait until Saturday to get another one.

I had a doctors appointment last Friday and things went well. The last time Chuck and I went in to see her, we were not at all impressed with her attitude. She seemed very moody and/or tired, so I was going to give her one more shot and if she still had a negative attitude then I would start looking for another doctor. But her attitude was greatly improved by our next visit, so I'm staying. I wasn't sick or anything but I had to see the doctor in order to get some refills on my insulin, and now I just need to go get my blood work done. But I can't get it done until I find a way we can pay for it. It makes me angry though when doctors keep telling you what not to do and what not to eat over and over and over, like they presume you are mentally incompetent. It's like "I know this stuff already I'm not stupid". She was trying to convince us that we need to be taking two shots per day and I tried telling her that even with just taking one my sugar still goes low and I have to eat a candy bar or something sweet to raise my sugar, but she would not listen to me just kept telling us that we needed to take two so that it will even out my glucose levels instead of being high all the time. But the really funny part is that every time I get my blood work done to figure out my average glucose, it always is and always has been really really really good... excellent! So I am now wondering if I am really truly diabetic? I am always eating things that I'm not supposed to, like candy bars and Pop tarts and cake and ice cream and sugar cookies and rice crispy treats and fudge... and the list goes on and on. So Chuck told me not to worry about her and eat what I want like I have been doing because I have been doing just fine.

I watch Maury everyday in the afternoon, except I tend to change the channel unless it is a show on my paternity tests. I like those shows, I like hearing the reasons that they sometimes give for not being the father... "that baby is too fat to be mine" or "that child is too obnoxious to be mine". This afternoon I turned in on to Maury to see what the topic was about before turning it. He was talking to different people about their phobias and giving them help. When I flipped it on a lady was on there describing her fear of cotton balls and how she would have a recurring nightmare of a man made of cotton balls trying to kill her. Maury just kept laughing at her, but when a man dressed in cotton balls approached her and started to chase her off the stage that was taking it too far! So I turned it.

Her move

While Sharon was getting ready to move into the house, she was just finishing up the work on the rental. As she was doing the repair work, she got another dog. This time it was a one year old, long hair, Shitzu named Dutchess. She also started speaking to Ken again, she would let him remove some of the trees in the trailer yard that were dead already. Ken and Chuck also helped their mother put up new drywall inside of the trailer. Whenever the boys went over there, I would go too. As they were working outside I would stay in and talk to Sharon and Carol. Ken would even go over and offer to help his mom without us being there. At one point, he was over there and offered to help his mom take out some old carpet to the dump. It was already rolled up and leaning against the enclosed porch wall and it had been there for several weeks. But his mom told Ken not to worry about it because she already had help with that. He then offered to help his mom to patch some holes in the wall, but his mom said no she already had help with that. He even offered to help her paint, but she already had help with that. After a while Ken gave up and went home... which I don't blame him, I would have given up too.

When Sharon was moving in to her new house, Chuck and Ken and I went over to the house and looked at what we could do to help her out. It was so neat inside, but was huge for just one person and her dog! The house was three stories, what was to be the shop was on the first level, the kitchen and living room and main bathroom and two bedrooms were on the second story, three bedrooms and a half bath were on the third story. Lucky for me I was in my manual so Chuck was able to pull me up the steps. We had an old door that was left in our basement when we moved in, so we gave that door to his mom so she could block off the upstairs so she wouldn't have to heat it.

I had only seen her dog, Dutchess, once when she was working on the trailer and it was playing around with Bebe. Before she was able to move in, she had decided to give her away because she didn't seem to like the house when Sharon, the pastor and Carol moved Sharon in.

There is nothing more depressing than Social Security

You know what makes me really mad? This Social Security and everything being income based. I have never had a job, except for babysitting when I was younger, so I could never put money into Social Security. When I was attending Kansas State, I started drawing SSI. I needed to make money somehow and this was the only way I knew how. When I got married, my husband was in the Army and I reported it, I was still able to draw some money just not as much. Six months later I moved to Michigan and started to draw SSI again, I was even able to get Medicaid. Chuck and I were going to school and were still able to draw it in during school year, but as soon as the summer started and Chuck went to work I no longer drew as much. Once Chuck was activated and went to New Jersey, I was no longer able to draw SSI because he was making too much money. I moved to an apartment on campus so I could stay in school and still get my student loans. But I was no longer able to get Medicaid, so I had to pray that nothing would happen. If an emergency came up I would have to go several miles to an Army hospital.

I wish I was still able to get SSI, but no. According to their guidelines, Chuck makes to much money. He only makes a mere $800 every two weeks, granted that is more than the measly $500 a month I was getting from SSI, but they seem to have forgotten that out of that paycheck there are bills that need to be paid. So after each paycheck, we are lucky to have enough money for groceries... we do need to eat... and for my medical supplies... my husband's work insurance requires a co-pay each time we pick up a refill on my medications. Since I no longer qualify for Medicaid, we have to cover the rest the doctors bill that the insurance won't cover.

I am the one in charge of the figuring out our finances every two weeks, I end up balling my eyes out because we will not be able to afford living for another two weeks. It makes me really depressed knowing I can not help and wishing I could.

Medicaid will cover in-home care, but since Chuck and I can no longer get it (Medicaid is now income based too) and we have to rely on his work insurance and his insurance will not cover in-home care. I am stuck at home all by myself during the day while Chuck is at work. I am getting slightly weaker as the days pass and desperately need some help with things. I have to make all my meals in the microwave, I no longer trust the nobility in my arms to make anything on the stove top or the oven. For our dinners, Chuck usually makes it not I (which I always thought was the stay-at-home persons job) and that makes me feel even worse. If I was to drop something, I would either need to wait for Chuck to come home after work or call him to come home right away to get some thing for me... lucky for me, he now works right down the street. I hate doing that because he needs to work so we can hopefully get to a bigger paycheck. Since I am alone, I cannot use the bathroom. I have to wear a pull--up throughout the day, and pray that I won't have to go poop! And boy, I have such a diaper rash it isn't even funny!

Just this afternoon my microphone wire got all tangled up in my chair wheel and I had to call Chuck home to untangle it so I could go let the dog out. Then I had to call him back to come home and plug-in my microphone because it had come unplugged. Now my feet have fallen off the feat rests and are dangling by the tires, so I have to tilt my chair back so my feet won't get caught in the wheels. If only it had someone here to help me while Chuck is gone.

How are the rest of my friends able to get to help and still have jobs? I need help too and the government isn't willing to help. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Fall in love but never get married? That's not fair!

A new house and a shop

A few months later, Carol convinced Sharon to open up a bridal shop with her. Sharon did not know the first thing about running a business but Carol had experience with one, so they decided to go in together and start a business. They would go to different bridal shops that were going out of business and get a good deal on dresses and their accessories. They would also shop at thrift stores, such as goodwill. Sharon was the one buying everything for the shop, it all was coming out of the money she had after her divorce settlement.

then put the pictures on my computer and make a slide show on CD, sometimes I would even set the pictures to music. They look some beautiful pictures, there was one of a girl in a white dress on the grass with the dress spread out all around her and was in a heart shape. Although they could have used some better lookShe would borrow my camera to take pictures of the group of people that were wearing her dresses. Carol was selling different floral arrangements that she had made out of silk flowers, that they would also take pictures of. Although they could have used some better looking models, the woman were just too old to be wearing a white dress... they were either extremely overweight or were covered in wrinkles or sags. Looking over the pictures just about made me want to turn away from the screen, I could just about imagine someone else's reaction when they tried to view it before buying a dress.

As this was going on, Sharon was in the process of looking for a business to buy or rent for their shop, and they were also looking in to different lawyers to set up a legal small business. After a couple weeks they legalized their shop and chose the name Precious Peacock. She also was able to locate a place they could use as a shop, it was a three story home downtown with five bedrooms and two baths, the downstairs was once used as a jewelry store so Sharon and Carol thought it would be perfect. Sharon bought this house even though the house was on a lean with most of the money that she had set a side from her divorce settlement. I went to take a tour of the house after she had bought it, it was absolutely gorgeous! The backyard was awesome and big with a big old fire pit that was surrounded by a boardwalk and benches, with a wooden jungle gym a few yards away. There was even a small wooden gazebo between the fire pit and the jungle gym. The downstairs shop was kind of small, but whatever floats their boat, besides it was their decision not mine.

Before buying this house, Chuck did try to convince his mom not to to buy it. He told her it was just to big for one person, she should have kept that trailer for herself because it was a perfect size for just her. But his mom would not hear of it, kept reassuring him that all would be great and work out just fine.

My heroes

Missing camp

How was everyone's Memorial weekend? Mine was okay, nothing special happened. Chuck had a three day weekend and we didn't do anything much except I went to church on Sunday morning then we went to his dad's house and had a cook out. His dad tried awful hard to get Chuck and I to stay over night Sunday, but we left to come home. When we came home, Chuck lit a campfire in our fire pit. We have never had a fire before because we never had a place for the fire pit, now that we found a spot we may have them more often. The whole time I was at the campfire... which was hours... I did nothing but talk about my camp memories and sing campfire songs.

I miss camp, I really do! Is it possible for a person to be homesick for camp... campsick? If so I've got it bad!
Being sound asleep in the bottom bunk and suddenly hearing someone out in the hallway banging pots and pans to wake us up, nearly giving me a heart attack in the process!
Being made by the unit leaders to attend flag raising so we'll get unit points.
Walking out front door and feeling the cool air and walking/rolling to the flagpole, still half asleep and wondering if "he" will be out there.
Entering the mess hall and finding a spot at one of the tables for you and your attendant to sit and have breakfast.
Joining the rest of my unit after breakfast to help decorate and clean up our cabins to win "clean cabin".
Doing an arts and crafts activity down in the boy's cabin, usually we'd do this before lunch.
We would usually do another activity before lunch, like play sports... such as soccer or T-ball or have a water fight (which would turn into a shaving cream fight).
Then we'd go eat lunch and most likely sit by both our attendant and "him" and maybe his camper.
After lunch, we'd retire back to are cabins for a little rest and relaxation (although I do not think the older girl units got much R&R).
Opening the front door again and suddenly feeling the heat and the humidity of a hot summer day.
Going to the pool with towels in hand and being ready to go for a swim.
And being so excited because "he" asked me to swim with him.
Feeling the coolness of the water as it ran over your legs while you floated as your attendant pulled you in the water.
Hurrying to the concession stand for a drink and a snack after swimming, and flirting with "him".
At this time you were getting ready for a special evening, either it be the banquet, the talent show, the hayride, or the dance.
If it wasn't the banquet night, we would all headover to the mess hall for dinner.
Making sure I would sit by "him".
If it was banquet night, we would all get dressed up and do our hair and our makeup (all most like what you do for prom) and wait for our date to arrive.
More than likely it would be "him".
Walking into the mess hall with our date to see a dimly lit room with the tables scooted to make one long table, which were covered with a tablecloth and candles and decorations.
After our wonderful meal, we would walk/roll to the campfire, with our attendant and sing songs or watch the rookie attendants initiation.
Then we'd all go to bed and wait for the guys to give you goodnight kisses, especially from "him".
Except no one actually went to bed, we would all join in a room and share and recap our day and talk about what would happen tomorrow.
"Friends I will remember you, think of you, pray for you... and when the day is through, I'll still be friends with you".

The first step, rental houses

By this time, Sharon and her new roommate, Carol, were looking into different houses to buy for rental properties. So she would come over to borrow my digital camera and I would then transfer the pictures from the memory card to the computer. After doing that I would e-mail the copies to Rassel. Yes, I knew both of his e-mail addresses and his yahoo ID, she had given me his yahoo ID a week after she returned from Bangladesh and he gave me both of his e-mail addresses. I loved being able to talk to him on Yahoo, after awhile I could see why Sharon fell for him like she did. He did not speak very good English but he could type it somewhat, reading some of his typings took a lot of patience and understanding but once you knew what he was talking about he seemed like a pretty decent... and innocent... guy.

After her trip to Bangladesh, Sharon asked me to look for a lawyer on the Internet that specializes in visas. Wanting to stay on her good side and not getting her mad at me... because I have witnessed how she acts when she is angry at someone, look how she disowned her kids... I found one for her. When the lawyer had directed her to an Internet site to fill out the paperwork for a Visa, I offered to help her fill it out. I did not think that meant for me to end up filling out most of it, I thought she would fill out more than the little bit of personal/financial information that she did.

There was a little place to put it in her income, and she wasn't make any money. They needed this information because you need to be able to prove you can support your spouse when they come over, so said the lawyer. So that is why her and Carol were looking in to rental properties, she wanted the rent money to count towards income. They eventually got a nice trailer... she bought it upfront because she had the money from her divorce settlement... that they fixed up. The guy who used to own the trailer was in an accident and was in a wheelchair and and made the trailer pretty accessible. I think that the guy was sent to a home, so his trailer was put on the market after being adopted by the bank after the guy had failed to make his mortgage payments.

She put up flyers for a renter all over town and got information from a lawyer on what kind of information to include on a lease contract. She finally found a renter with good credit and they started the lease the next month. They had lots of children and the wife started a day care in the home.

The Republican candidates

I know I have been writing on the problems with my mother in law. But after the death of Gina and reading some of her past posts, I have decided to write about my thoughts about certain things. Do not worry because I will still reflect on my memories of Sharon, it's just my turn now.

I was watching some of the debates of the candidate's running for the Republican party. I never choose a president based on the party that he/she is affiliated with. I go based on the views of the individual presidential candidate. I didn't watch the whole thing from the beginning, so I can't say who I was leaning more towards. But as soon as they got on the subject of abortion, I started leaning more towards Mayor Giuliani.

I know abortion is a tricky subject for some people, I have often tried to to avoid the subject by any means possible. But some views on this subject really makes my heart start thumping. Yes, I am pro-life. I do not believe people should abort their children, especially if the mother is able to carry the child to full term without any risks. There are many people, I being one of them, who are wanting to adopt and more and more people choose either to abort or to keep their child. The problem with this is adopting children is starting to become very difficult and problematic.

However, there is one side me that is pro-choice. If the woman is expecting a child and learns she will not be able to carry the child to full term without the risk of losing the baby. If I was to become pregnant, there is a chance that not only would I have a stillborn baby but I could very well lose my life as well. So I would have to abort because my husband has made it clear to me that he does not want to lose me too. So that is where my pro-choice fits in.

Mayor Giuliani felt the same way I do. He was pro-life until mother's life was in danger also, then he was pro-choice. When President Bush passed the law that all abortion was illegal after a few months, that really made me mad. He was saying that it's morally wrong to murder a child in the womb, but if you read between the lines he was just about saying that it the child is aborted it is murder but if the child dies in the womb it is okay. It is still okay if the mother dies too. So I guess that he is saying that it is okay for doctors to basically murder the child and the mother at the same time. What sense does this make? Besides, a lot of people do not even find out that they're pregnant until a few months later which is about the time it becomes illegal.

Gina, you will always be in our hearts!

I love you Gina Bauer!

I received e-mail from Gina... Gina 2... about G. being in the hospital. This news took me by surprise. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been able to keep in contact with my fellow camp friends. She is like the glue that has held us together, I can't imagine how tough it may be its she is unable to pull through this.She got pretty sick this morning and went to St. Francis hospital by EMS. They had to intubate her and knocked out her two front teeth as they did. she has pneumonia and a collased lung. She is a fighter as we all know and we are lifing her up in prayer to the God she knows loves and trusts in. She has a hard time lately.. In this past year she has gotten somewhat weaker. But always ready to take on a new day. She is in ICU at this time. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

We have decided to gravel

Chuck and I still have not had our yard surveyed yet. We still couldn't figure out whether we should or should not. Since it's getting warmer outside, we have been spending more time out and looking at our yard. The front yard would look really decent if we laid gravel along the circular driveway, but we were told that several years ago half of the driveway was involved in a neighborly dispute. The guy that lived in the cabin next our home argued that the right driveway belonged to his property. No one has lived in that cabin for many many years, but when we bought this house the right driveway was blocked off which had Chuck and I worried.

There were many poles and a few that were cemented in place, and they had orange markings on the top so we pretty much figured that they had once had it surveyed at one time. So Chuck measured from pole to pole in our yard and the poles in other yards. So we have figured out that the driveway is ours, so is our water well and so is our septic drainage hole. So once were able to come up with the extra money, we can gravel the driveway.

Hooray!!!

Only in America....

Only in America......a pizza can get to your housefaster than an ambulance.
Only in America......are there handicap parkingplaces in front of a skating rink.
Only in America.....do we use answering machines toscreen calls and then have call waiting so we won'tmiss a call from someone we didn't want to talk toin the first place.
Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walkall the way to the back of the store to get theirprescriptions while healthy people can buycigarettes at the front.
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America......do banks leave both doors openand then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America......do we leave cars worththousands of dollars in the driveway and put ouruseless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we! buy hot dogs in packagesof ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America......do we use the word 'politics'to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latinmeaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsuckingcreatures'.
Only in America. .....d o they have drive-up ATMmachines with Braille lettering.
Only in America......can a homeless combat veteranlive in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live inthe White House.
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EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouthclosed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?!
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, anddishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called abroker ?
Why is the time of day with the slowest trafficcalled rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethalinjections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! !
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are allstuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress theopposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airportthe terminal?
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In case you needed further proof that the human raceis doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
[Gee, that's the only time I have to work on myhair]

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! Nopurchase necessary. Details inside".
[Evidently, the shoplifter special]

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use likeregular soap."
[And that would be how...?]

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Servingsuggestions: Defrost."
[But it's *just* a suggestion]

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom ofbox): "Do not turn upside down".
[Oops, too late, you lose!! ]

6. On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product willbe hot after heating.
[As sure as night follows the day . . . . .]

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not ironclothes on body".
[But wouldn't this save even more time?]

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do notdrive a car or operate machinery after taking thismedication".
[We could do a lot to reduce the rate ofconstruction accidents if we could just get those5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.]

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May causedrowsiness".
[One would hope]

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indooror outdoor use only".
[As opposed to what?]

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be usedfor the other use".
[I gotta admit, I'm curious].

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Containsnuts".
[NEWS FLASH]

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: open packet,eat nuts."
[Step 3: Fly Delta]

14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of thisgarment does not enable you to fly".
[I don't blame the company. I do blame parents forthis one!]

15. On a Swedish chain saw: " Do not attempt to stopchain with your hands or genitals".
Was there a chance of this happeningsomewhere?.....Good grief!]

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turnto spread the stupidity and send this to someone youwant to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...inother words, send it to everyone. We ALL NEED ASMILE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE America......

Her trip to Bangladesh

As soon as she returned from Bangladesh, Sharon told me how happy she was that her and Rassel were now married. They had gotten married on the first of August... Like the day after the she got there... At the court house. She told me all about how her mother-in-law and all of the people in the village threw her and Rassel a reception after their wedding. How she was basically treated like royalty while over there and how wonderful the people were... I kept thinking that she was probably treated so well because she was a foreigner but their attitudes would change if she lived there. Chuck told me that if she ended up living there, she would most likely end up being beheaded like all those reporters on the news. She didn't seem to pay any attention to how dangerous things are over there, she was too struck by a puppy love.

Rassel was an absolute dream, said Sharon. He treated her like an angel and paid attention to her the whole time she was there. She wanted to stay there longer but had to return because she had gotten so sick. During her stay, the mother-in-law ended up taking her to the emergency room and the doctor had told her she needed to start getting protein in her body. All they eat over there was rice and being American she needed meat. Not only that but her asthma started acting up again she was unable to get a refill for it, but Rassel's brother had the same breathing troubles as Sharon so she was able to borrow his breathing apparatus.

It did make me mad when she kept talking about the village and the people living there. Sharon would say that they were a close knit family oriented group of people. How the grand mother was in the same house as her son and grandchildren and next door to her nieces and nephews. She really wishes that were like that in the US, but instead we are too busy for one another and would rather put the older people in a nursing home. However, I kept thinking well I doubt that anyone would have disowned their own children, besides if it was so good are over there why did you come back?

Sharon would complain that she now had no way to see the kids. I mentioned this to their dad we made a deal so that whenever kids came over and she was around, I would call her and tell her to come over. She may have disrespected my brother in law and my husband, but she was still their mother and the kids grandmother. So I didn't think it was right for me to stand in the way and I kind of wanted to stay on her good side. So I went ahead and tried to help her by filling out some forms over the Internet to get Rassel a visa so he could come over here. It was not a simple task either, it literally took me months to complete.

At one point when the kids were over and so was she, Sharon wanted the kids to promise her that they would not get married until they were 30. She started telling them that before 30 everyone is just too young and immature to get married, they all end in a divorce anyway. Carrie said that her dad had married her mom before there were 30. Sharon told Carrie that her dad was way too young and look how his marriage ended. She would not let this subject go until the kids had promised her. I was starting to get very upset by this time and I came close to telling her off. I just started shaking my head and then I told her well your son and I got married when we were in our early 20s and we are still married eight years later! So don't be making the kids promise you some thing if it can be prevented by good role models. After saying this, she did not say anymore on this subject.

Hilarious!

WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!

HE : Can I buy you a drink?

SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.

SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?

SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE : I must've been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?

SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.

SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.

SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.

SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?

SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?

SHE : I've already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?

SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?

SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?

SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?

SHE : I'm a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?

SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.

SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

August of 2005

Now it was the month of August and Maggie had to have surgery done in her stomach. Ken asked me if I would watch the kids while he was at work, since the kids for out of school and I didn't work. I was so happy to be watching them, it makes me feel good that I people actually trust me with watching their children. For the longest time Ken had a hard time trusting me being left alone with the kids, especially his youngest, Carrie, when she was baby. Now that they were eight and nine, he had an easier time trusting me this time.

We had a lot of fun, they are a great bunch of kids. They did want to stay in side most of the day though and it would warm up to be a very lovely day. They mostly stayed in to play my Sims two game, but I would make them go out for at least an hour every day. I realize that our house was not an exciting, child ready... We didn't have a swingset nor a kiddie pool... But Chuck and I spent hours outside when we were kids, we would have climbed the trees in our yard are gone out in the backyard and explored the woods that surround our house.

I still remember the month I spent with them like it was just last month. Hard to believe it was two years ago! I do have some photos that were taken during this time.

This picture was taken by Brenden of Carrie and I
This Photo of Brenden was taken by Carrie

Visits from my mother-in-law

Sharon got into a fight with her brother after their trip overseas, she had told Bill that he was not her brother any longer. She was still angry with Amber for her disappearance while in India. All Amber was doing was just being a typical teenager... She was only 18 at the time! When they got back, Sharon started acting childish towards Amber like ignoring her when she entered the room, when Bill had confronted Sharon about her childish attitude she told Bill he was taking sides and believing Amber when all she was doing was lying about her attitude on the trip. That is when Sharon told Bill that they are no longer brother and sister. So Sharon found a place here in town with a pastor and his wife, they own the church she attended while living here.

Whenever I'd be outside she would drive up and visit while Chuck was at work. Then she started showing up with a little white dog, it was a Jack Russell terrier named Bebe. It was a darling little dog that was all white with light brown spots all over its body, she had big buggy brown eyes and she looked just like Bambi! I had my big Labrador retriever at this time, but they seemed to get along quite well. Our front yard was not fenced in yet, so Chelsea was hooked up to an underground shock fence and since Bebe was a runner Sharon kept her on a leash.

The kids would even come over every once in a while to visit me. Sharon would come over to see them, I didn't have a problem with this for she was their Mamaw. She brought them some of the gifts that she bought them in India. When she gave the stuff she had told them it was from both her and Rassel. The gifts were simple, but cute, pairs of clothing. Carrie got a pair of sandals and a nice sundress, Brenden got some shoes and shorts with a shirt. The shirt was three times to small and Carrie did not like the sundress saying it looked to babyish, but they liked everything else. Sharon did get them other stuff besides clothes, but I cannot recall exactly what they were right now... So I guess it's not important!

After a few weeks, Sharon started planning her trip to Bangladesh the following month. She did not talk to me about her plans like she did before going to India. But everyone knew what she was going over for. I did know that she planned to be in Bangladesh for about two weeks.

Her trip to India

My husband got me a new microphone with a USB plug yesterday. Now that it is working I can write more often than once a week, maybe I will write twice a week now.

When his mom walked in I felt a feeling of dred turning circles in my stomach. I couldn't believe what he brought home, I was still upset with her for telling both of her kids that she isn't their mother anymore. She didn't even disown them to their faces, instead she CALLED them! She took the cowards way out!!!!!!!

All she did was talk about her trip to India and how wonderful Rassel was. She even showed me some pictures that she took during her stay. Never once asking me how my trip was nor what we did. She didn't even ask to see the pictures I had taken. Instead all I heard was Rassel this and Rassel that. I did notice that she never mentioned the people that she went over with nor did she have any pictures of them. She told me about the hotel that her, Rassel, and her niece stayed in. About how Rassel would take them shopping and was able to bargain with the owner about the prices. How her and her niece, Amber, got in a horrific fight about Amber's spending habits and Amber disappearing for several hours and being caught by the pool flirting with a pool attendant there. She then told me that Rassel had proposed to her before he left to go home. I didn't say anything at this point, not only was I sick of hearing about Rassel but I couldn't believe she actually excepted a proposal from a kid!

Hey everyone!

Check out the bottom of my page.

Child care decisions

My mom got me an audio program for the computer as a birthday gift. My typing has gotten so slow and painful, so I took the "easy" way out...LOL! There's a loose wire in the microphone plug and until we figure out away to fix it, I'll be typing again and using lotsa abbreviations! :( So be patient, the mother-in-law posts will come but one wk at a time.

After his mom left, Ken did not know what to do about his kids. After a long custody battle w/ his ex, he was awarded custody about a yr. prior. So he did not want to get his ex involved and go thru another lengthy court battle. He ended up asking the new gf to watch them while he was at work. He would've asked me, but I wouldn't have been able to take the kids to and from school. Plus that July Chuck and I were going to Kansas for a couple wks.

Maggie took care of the kids starting in May (the day after Sharon's hissy fit), then that June she found out she had a really bad infection in her intestine and may need surgery. She was feeling better before I left for KS. While I was gone, her stomach started acting up again and the doctors scheduled surgery for August.

Carpet pics

Our new look

We now have carpet! Since Chuck has the new job and has his weekends free, we are now able to do more work to our fixer upper home. Our house still has bare floors because the people who lived here before had dogs that peed all over. So the flooring was all ripped up before we moved in. Well the living room had nice hard wood floors but the people glued down carpet over the floor. Since the carpet was ripped up, the glue ruined the floor. So Chuck and I ordered some carpet for the living room.

HOORAY!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! I'm on! I'm on! I'm excited (couldn't ya tell?) After nearly a month and having to switch to the new blogger, I couldn't log in to my dashboard to create new posts. Well, a few minutes ago I logged in. Don't know how i did it, think it was thru Gmail (Thanks for the suggestion G!) Now,I am afraid to sign out...lol!

Myspace Layouts

Blue Cross and Blue Shields

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Disowning the first time

So, that was the first time Sharon had disowned both her children. It was for no reason other than being jealous, although she did keep claiming that she was in no way jealous of or angry at the dad's new girlfriend... Yeah what ever!

No one ever heard anything from her for a couple months. In the middle in July, we heard that she was back in town. So Chuck went to see if he could find her, but secretly, I was hoping he wouldn't. I was still upset at her. I mean, come on, disowning her own children? How can a mom possibly do this to her kids? Anyways, he did find her while she was driving around. I have no idea what they talked about because I was not present, later on he did tell me one of the first things she did was give him a big hug and kiss. A few hours later, Chuck pulled up the driveway and his mom pulled in behind him.

More to come...